Tag Archives: Yours Truly

Answer? Nixon.

Question: Who is current the president?

No? Not right? How long was I held hostage in there anyway?

Regardless, I’m back Internet, recently freed from the prison that was my shirt. Or I suppose shirts. In an effort to keep warm while attending an Anytime Fitness training conference today, I wore three layers – built-in-bra-tank, long sleeve shirt, t-shirt. Yesterday, it was so cold I was beginning to wonder if we were the subjects of a new bio-experiment on how frostbite effects resting metabolic rate…

Anywho. If you ever start to feel like you’re losing touch with the little people, try taking off a built-in-bra-tank, long sleeve shirt and t-shirt like you would a normal top. That is, all at once.

While many of you may find disrobing layer by layer a walk in the park (be careful, it can get chilly when topless), the bulk of you (aka: Yours Truly) will find taking all layers off at once the garment equivalent of a Chinese finger trap.

Pair that with a husband who is conveniently AWOL at yet another bachelor party, and a recorded episode of NCIS beginning a commercial break, and you can imagine my dilemma. This brings up another fantastic point – where have all the good valets gone?

And no, my Dallas friends. I’m not talking about those people who take your car so you don’t have to park then walk 15 blocks to make your dinner reservation. I mean those smartly-garbed assistants whose sole purpose was to assist you with your daily needs, including dressing (and undressing).

“But, but!,” my valet stammered, making even these dull noises fanciful in his British accent.

“Never mind that valet’s typically assist gentlemen, Jeeves,” says I. “You can press my cravat any day.”

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The Supreme Mrs. B. Utthole

Internet, today I am an ass. Sounds harsh until you think about saying that in a lofty, British accent – then it just sounds like a story you shared with a buddy at a pub (yeah – a pub).

Wait, I know what most of you (my one reader) are going to say: why not spell it ‘arse’ then, my British liege?

Answer – because that sounds more Scottish and not at all the sound I’m going for.

Anywho. I have my antsy pants on today and heaven forbid you get in my way. I am a little scared of taking the dogs on a walk. Why? Because most days, my puppies are angels and can do no wrong. But Internet, on days like this, animals are assholes, and one leash tug in the wrong direction might just make me lose it.

Lose it in a ‘why-do-you-hate-me-give-me-candy-right-now-you-never-let-me-have-anything-supermarket-tantrum’ lose it.

Luckily for the beasts, this rarely results in any public display of well, anything, but I do think they can hear the internal screaming because on days like this, they tend to hide behind Husband Dearest’s legs and wait for Real Mommy to return.

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Sweat is Fat, Crying

Ok, so my last post probably doesn’t make sense without some background. Like why we moved away from a house we own, successful jobs, wonderful friends and the Dallas life. As of September, Yours Truly, Husband Dearest and our partner Bri-Bri took ownership of a set of Anytime Fitness clubs along I-35.

We saw an amazing opportunity in these clubs and their people. The opportunity is both a smart business partnership with a successful franchise and a chance for all three of us to take the reigns of our futures and make fitness and health a part of our daily lives.Anytime Fitness Running Man Logo

Oh yeah, and did I mention the Anytime Fitness annual users conference in Chicago? Loved it. Learned a lot.

One week in and we are living on the Kool-Aid, Internet.

Husband Dearest and I met some great people – and saw a lot of them get tattooed with Running Man, Anytime’s corporate logo. While I didn’t stand in that line, per se, I did buy myself a nice, new, purple Anytime Fitness¬†fleece – with thumb holes. These apparently have something to do with running while wearing the fleece…yeah.

Apparently, I need to learn more about fitness fashion. It’s not just spandex and sweat bands¬†anymore. T-shirts, dry-fits, T-backs, fleeces, sweatshirts, long T’s, sparkly-Affliction-esque apparel and so, so much more. The Fitness Fashion world is my oyster.

Oh yeah, and can anyone tell me where I can get some supplements?

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