The Supreme Mrs. B. Utthole

Internet, today I am an ass. Sounds harsh until you think about saying that in a lofty, British accent – then it just sounds like a story you shared with a buddy at a pub (yeah – a pub).

Wait, I know what most of you (my one reader) are going to say: why not spell it ‘arse’ then, my British liege?

Answer – because that sounds more Scottish and not at all the sound I’m going for.

Anywho. I have my antsy pants on today and heaven forbid you get in my way. I am a little scared of taking the dogs on a walk. Why? Because most days, my puppies are angels and can do no wrong. But Internet, on days like this, animals are assholes, and one leash tug in the wrong direction might just make me lose it.

Lose it in a ‘why-do-you-hate-me-give-me-candy-right-now-you-never-let-me-have-anything-supermarket-tantrum’ lose it.

Luckily for the beasts, this rarely results in any public display of well, anything, but I do think they can hear the internal screaming because on days like this, they tend to hide behind Husband Dearest’s legs and wait for Real Mommy to return.